Skip to content

Impostor footage. Not the brothers

In development. Not by them.

A video just for them

Pick a brother, pick the occasion, and say what you want said. Potato and Hash perform it, and one of them stays until the end.

Requests are shut, so nothing on this page can be ordered today. This is how it will go. Potato has approved it without reading it.

Tell me the day it opensSee the five steps

Take eleven. Potato heard a van.

Placeholder photograph of a cream Shar Pei resting its head on a person's arm, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Still shut

Casting

Choose your brother

Same breed, same wrinkles, two completely different animals. One of them suits the person you have in mind, and both of them assume it is him.

Potato

Pleased to see you before you have said a word. He attends everything he was not invited to and nobody has ever asked him to leave. Best for somebody who likes a fuss.

Hash

Reserved, dignified, and in no hurry for anybody. He will decide about you on camera, slowly, and let you watch him do it. Best for somebody who likes being chosen.

Potato and Hash together

Twice the wrinkles, and two opinions of you that will never be reconciled. Potato speaks for both of them and Hash has never agreed to that. Save it for something that deserves the pair.

Start to finish

Five steps. Three are yours.

Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei curled up asleep on a stone step, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a tan Shar Pei lying on a wooden deck with its paws forward, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

  1. Pick a brother

    Potato, Hash, or both at once. This is the hardest part of the whole process and it is not close. There is no wrong answer.

  2. Pick the occasion

    A birthday, a wedding, a graduation, or a Tuesday that has gone badly. The full list of acceptable excuses is further down this page. Hash objects to two entries and will not say which.

  3. Say what you want said

    Their name, how to say it out loud, and the details that make it theirs. Inside jokes encouraged, nicknames encouraged more. Potato treats all of it as a suggestion.

  4. A person reads it first

    A human reads every single request before a camera comes out. If it is not something the brothers can do, we say so and refund you in full.

  5. It arrives, made for one person

    Yours to watch, download, and send to anybody you like. It stays private unless you tell us you would like it shared.

Nobody presses record until a person has read your request.

Good excuses

What you will ask for

You choose one when you request a video. Every entry on the list was approved by two dogs. One of them was asleep.

  • Birthday
  • Anniversary
  • Congratulations
  • Encouragement
  • Holiday
  • Wedding
  • Graduation
  • Pet shout out
  • Just for fun
  • Other

Not there? Pick Other and tell us about it. Potato agrees to everything on arrival. Hash agrees in his own time.

The list

Know the day it opens

One email the day custom videos are genuinely open for requests, and nothing pretending to be urgent in between. Leave whenever you like, in a single click.

Join the list

Worth reading first: the custom video terms. They cover what can be asked for, what happens when a request is declined, and how a finished video reaches you.

Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei standing on grass and facing the camera, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

There is no price and no opening date on this page, because neither has been decided. Both are the owner's call and they will show up here the moment they are real rather than as a guess somebody has to walk back later. How long one takes to make is settled, and it is written down on the terms page.