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Impostor footage. Not the brothers

A house arranged entirely around their naps.

Potato and Hash

Two Shar Pei brothers who have never been told no and would not recognise the word.

Meet the brothersWatch the videos
Placeholder photograph of a tan Shar Pei on a lead in bright sun, mouth open and happy, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei sitting upright on a path with trees behind it, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

Two dogs. One sofa. It is Potato's, and that was never discussed.

Elsewhere

Watch them do nothing at all

Four platforms, none of them up yet. Hash would like a word with whoever is arranging this.

Tell me when they land
  • InstagramPhotographs, all of them approvedNot live yet
  • TikTokThe short ones, Potato at full volumeNot live yet
  • YouTubeThe long ones, Hash arriving lateNot live yet
  • XOpinions, mostly about the postmanNot live yet

The official accounts are not up yet, so nothing above is a link. Sending you to an account that might not be theirs is worse than saying so plainly. Potato has asked to be told the moment this changes.

Two brothers, one household, and a long list of conditions

One says hello. One decides later.

Same family, same folds, two entirely different methods. Potato has already crossed the garden and begun the introductions. Hash is at the far end, deciding about you, and would like you to watch him do it.

Potato will sit on you. Hash will sit on Potato.

Meet them both properly
Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei sitting upright on a path with trees behind it, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

Already excited

Potato

Greets everybody at the door and assumes every arrival is for him, including the post. Hears the doorbell before it rings and is already shouting.

Meet Potato
Placeholder photograph of a cream Shar Pei resting its chin on a concrete step, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

Still deciding

Hash

Will decide about you in his own time and not a moment sooner. Has opinions about the weather and will not go out in it.

Meet Hash

Now playing

The naps, the snacks, the ongoing dispute

All the videos
Placeholder photograph of another dog, standing in for the clip called The patrol, in fullPlaceholder clip

The patrol, in full

Every crack, every leaf, every smell that cannot account for itself. The route is confidential and the route is the same every day.

Placeholder photograph of another dog, standing in for the clip called An incident in the gardenPlaceholder clip

An incident in the garden

It begins with one ear going up. No cause was established. No apology was offered.

Placeholder photograph of another dog, standing in for the clip called Drinking water, professionallyPlaceholder clip

Drinking water, professionally

Hydration is a discipline. Half of it ends up on the floor, and the floor is now being looked into.

Every clip here is a different dog, and each one says so on the frame. The brothers are aware and have not forgiven it.

A wall, at their insistence

Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei standing in a garden with its head turned to one side, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei in front of a bamboo fence, shown from the shoulders up, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a cream Shar Pei resting its head on a person's arm, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a cream Shar Pei walking down a path scattered with fallen leaves, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei running towards the camera along a path, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a tan Shar Pei lying on a wooden deck with its paws forward, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Open the gallery10 pictures so far

Free, and open right now

Somebody made two games. Neither dog helped.

Both games

Two games, no download, no account, nothing to buy. No invented names on the leaderboards, which is why they are still empty.

Endless runner

Wrinkle Rush

They got out. Nobody is bringing them back.

Swipe to change lane, tap to jump, swipe down to slide. They run on their own and they get faster.

Play Wrinkle Rush

Chain reactions

Zoomies

They have the zoomies. The house is losing.

Flick to turn them. They are already running. Aim them at one thing so it hits the next thing.

Play Zoomies

Things with their faces on

Wear the wrinkles

Tee shirts. Mugs. Stickers. Both faces, larger than necessary.

The shop is open. Put their faces on something you own. Hash has seen the mug and does not think it captures him.

Visit the shop
Placeholder photograph of a tan Shar Pei lying stretched out on a low garden wall, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo
Placeholder photograph of a grey Shar Pei standing on grass and facing the camera, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

Custom videos

A message, from two very serious dogs

The service is shut, there is no price, and no date has been set. One day you will be able to ask the brothers to say something lovely to somebody you love. Potato has decided he will allow it. Nobody asked him.

See what it involvesTell me when it opens
Placeholder photograph of a cream Shar Pei resting its head on a person's arm, standing in for a picture of the brothersPlaceholder photo

News from the sofa

Two dogs,straight toyour inbox

New videos, fresh photographs, and word when anything changes. No spam, ever, and you can leave whenever you like.

Join the list

0boops

Nobody has booped yet. Hash does not mind. He has checked twice.

Come for the wrinkles. Stay because Potato says so.

Meet Potato and HashLook at the pictures