Impostor footage. Not the brothers
Two brothers, both certain they are the favourite
MeetPotatoandHash
Same house, same wrinkles, and two completely different opinions about the front door. Start with whichever one you think you can handle.
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Placeholder photoOne is already leaning on you. The other will not be rushed.
Comes straight over
Potato
He will introduce himself. He will not be leaving.
Potato greets. The meter reader, the window cleaner, the man who came about the boiler and spent the visit with a dog leaning on him. He greets them again on the way out, in case anything has changed.
He treats any plate carried past him at hip height as a share rather than a theft. That was never agreed, and nobody has explained the flaw in it to him in a way that stuck.
Known offences
- Leans first, asks nothing
- Assumes every arrival is for him, including the post
- Considers dinner late, whatever time it arrives
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Placeholder photoNot convinced yet
Hash
Hash is deciding about you. He does it from the middle of the room, at a distance he chose, and in no particular hurry. He has never been wrong, by his own count, and his is the only count anybody keeps.
He has opinions about the weather, will not go out in it, and holds somebody in this house responsible for it. Then one day he decides you are his and he is upside down on the sofa, belly up and sighing, entirely yours. He would rather that did not get around.
Known offences
- Decides slowly, and only once
- Sighs when asked to do anything
- Allows things, and calls each one a favour
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Placeholder photoJointly and severally
Two dogs, one sofa, and nothing in writing
Apart they are two different problems. Together they are one problem that has never once agreed on where to sit.